15 October: National Grouch Day

Today is National Grouch Day, so here are 10 quotes for grouches:

1. I’m objective. I object to everything.
2. Just because I’m moody doesn’t mean you’re not irritating.
3. Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone's throat.
4. I’ve got a bit of mood poisoning. It must be something I hate.
5. Why be difficult when with just a bit more effort you can be ruddy impossible.
6. I don't need anger management. I need people to stop pissing me off.
7. I'm not in a bad mood. Everyone else is just annoying.
8. I need to re-home a dog. It’s a small terrier and tends to bark a lot. If you’re interested let me know and I’ll jump over my neighbour’s fence and get it for you.
9. “I think I could make you very happy.” “Why, are you leaving?”
10. I like long walks – especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Fred Allen

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