2 November: Famous Last Words

As today is the Day of the Dead, here is a list of ten Famous last words:

1. Condemned poisoner William Palmer inquired as he stepped onto the gallows, “Are you sure it's safe?"
2. American General Sedgewick. Those last words as he peered towards the enemy were: "They couldn't hit an Elephant at this dist....."
3. Oscar Wilde: This wallpaper is killing me. One of us will have to go.
4. I wish I had drunk more Champagne. John Maynard Keynes
5. Am I dying or is this my birthday? Lady Astor.
6. Turn up the lights. I don't want to go home in the dark. O Henry
7. Get my Swan costume ready. Anna Pavlova
8. I am dying with the help of too many physicians. Alexander the Great.
9. All my possessions for one moment of time. Queen Elizabeth I.
10. Die, my dear doctor? That's the last thing I shall do. Lord Palmerston.

Bonus fact – we will never know what Albert Einstein's last words were – he said something in his native language, but the nurse attending him didn't speak German.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book

1 November: Spencer Perceval

This date in 1762 was the birth date of Spencer Perceval, British statesman and Prime Minister. He is the only British Prime Minister to have been assassinated. 10 facts about him:

1. He was born in Mayfair, into a privileged family. His father, John, was the 2nd Earl of Egmont and an advisor to King George III. His mother, Catherine, was the granddaughter of the 4th Earl of Northampton. He was named after his mother’s great uncle, Spencer Compton, another former Prime Minister.
2. He attended Cambridge and then embarked on a legal career. His family connections helped his secure good positions, but in time he gained recognition on his own merit. He wrote a pamphlet which resulted in William Pitt the Younger offering him the position of Chief Secretary of Ireland. He turned it down in favour of a position as King’s Counsel, which had a better salary.
3. Which he would have needed because he and his wife Jane had thirteen children.
4. Spencer and his older brother fell in love with two sisters, Margaretta and Jane Wilson. His brother had the title and so the sisters’ father was more than happy to give consent to that match, but at the time, Spencer was a low ranking lawyer, so he wasn’t so lucky. He was told he’d have to wait until his prospects improved. When Jane turned 21, his prospects still hadn’t improved, so the couple eloped.
5. Perceval became an MP when his cousin, then MP for Northampton, inherited a title and moved on to the House of Lords. Perceval stood at the next election and won the seat.
6. After serving in a number of cabinet posts, in 1809 he became Prime Minister, following the resignation of the Duke of Portland.
7. He had some trouble forming a cabinet, however. Five people turned down offers of places in the cabinet, meaning that Perceval had to take on the role of Chancellor of the Exchequer as well as Prime Minister.
8. What was he like? He was small, slight and pale and usually wore Black. He was the last British prime minister to wear a powdered wig tied in a queue, and knee-breeches. He never sat for a portrait. Images of him are either miniatures or based on his death mask. People sometimes referred to him as ‘Little P’. He was an evangelical Christian who supported the abolition of slavery and gave generously to charitable causes.
9. Perceval is the only British Prime Minister to have been assassinated. His killer was John Bellingham, a disgruntled merchant who’d got into debt in Russia and served time in a Russian prison. When Bellingham finally got back to England, he sought compensation from the government for his ordeal but Britain had broken its diplomatic relations with Russia, and so he got nothing. A civil servant at the Foreign Office advised Bellingham he was at liberty to take whatever measures he deemed necessary. Bellingham took this to mean that killing the Prime Minister was an option. He purchased two .50 calibre pistols and shot Perceval dead in the lobby of the House of Commons on 11th May 1812.
10. Perceval was succeeded by Robert Jenkinson, the second Earl of Liverpool.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book

31 October: 10 Ghost Jokes

No getting away from it. Halloween is going to be pretty shite this year with parties and trick or treating outlawed. So here are 10 jokes about ghosts to cheer us up:

1. What haunts Football changing rooms? The Team Spirit
2. What do you call Twin ghosts who keep pressing the doorbell? Dead Ringers
3. What do you call the ghost who haunts TV chat shows? The Phantom of the Oprah
4. Why don’t skeletons go to dances? They haven’t any body to go with.
5. What do you call a well balanced ghost? A spirit level
6. What happens if you don’t pay the exorcist? You get re-possessed.
7. Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them
8. Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the boos
9. Why do ghosts like to ride in Lifts? It raises their spirits
10. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the Fog? He is mist.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book

30 October: People called Simon

Today is the name day for people called Simon. Simon is a Hebrew name which means “listen” or “hearing.” 10 famous Simons:

1. Simon the Shoemaker: A man who's workshop Socrates would visit. Simon is known for writing down some of the conversations they had.
2. Jesus had two apostles called Simon. St Simon the Zealot, and Simon Peter, better known as St Peter.
3. Simon Magus: magician confronted by Saint Peter in the book of Acts. The term "simony", meaning paying for a position of influence in the church, comes from him.
4. Simón Bolívar: Venezuelan military and political leader who led the countries of Venezuela, Bolivia, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, and Panama to independence from Spain.
5. Simon Cowell: British television personality and music industry entrepreneur and judge on X-Factor, Pop Idol and Britain's Got Talent, known for his blunt and often harsh comments on contestants' abilities.
6. Simon Helberg: American actor, comedian, and musician best known as Howard on Big Bang Theory.
7. Simon Le Bon: Lead singer of Duran Duran
8. Simon Pegg: English screenwriter and actor who wrote and starred in the films Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, The World's End and Paul. He also played Montgomery Scott in recent Star Trek films.
9. Simon Templar: main character of Leslie Charteris' The Saint novels, a type of Robin Hood style character targeting corrupt politicians and the like.
10. Simon: a character in Lord of the Flies, by William Golding.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book

29 October: Scorpio

The current zodiac sign is Scorpio. Ten things you might not know about the sign:

1. It’s a water sign, along with Cancer and Pisces.
2. In some astrology systems, Scorpio is associated with a Snake, eagle or phoenix rather than a scorpion. The constellation is rather like a hook in shape, and so Hindus also associate it with an Umbrella, an earring or an Elephant goad. In Hawaii, it is known as Maui’s fishhook.
3. The colours associated with the sign are maroon, Orange, Grey and Black.
4. Scorpio’s gemstones are ruby, topaz, garnet, aquamarine and malachite. It’s plants are Heather, Honeysuckle, nettles, thistle and Chrysanthemum.
5. The constellation Scorpius contains some bright and distinctive stars. Antares has a reddish hue and is sometimes referred to as “rival of Mars”. There is a pair of stars close together. One is Blue and one is Yellow, and the fact they are a pair can just be seen with the naked eye. There’s also a triple star.
6. In Greek mythology Scorpio is associated with Orion the Hunter. Orion once boasted that he would kill every animal on Earth, and the Scorpion was sent by Artemis, or in some versions of the tale, Apollo, to kill Orion. Orion and the scorpion were well matched, and an epic battle followed, ending with Zeus banishing them both to the sky as a warning to mortals against excessive pride.
7. Scorpio’s ruling planet is Pluto.
8. Scorpio rules secrecy, power, clairvoyance, sex and the sex organs, the occult, cruelty, spirituality, the unconscious, channelling of healing energy and extremes.
9. People born under this sign are passionate, intense and determined. They like to know what is going on, and will dig deep to discover the truth. They are secretive, not wanting to reveal too much about themselves because they can be easily hurt. Prone to jealousy and vengefulness, competitive and thrive on challenges. They can be prone to accidents and nosebleeds, and may have a gift for healing.
10. Famous Scorpios include Hillary Clinton, Leonardo di Caprio, Bill Gates, Julia Roberts, Whoopi Goldberg, Condoleeza Rice, Marie Curie, Christopher Columbus and Pablo Picasso.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book

28 October: Cardiff

On this date in 1905 Cardiff was granted city status by King Edward VII. 10 things you might not know about the capital of Wales.

1. It has only been capital of Wales since 20 December 1955 when it was given the status by then Home Secretary Gwilym Lloyd George. Caernarfon had also been in the running.
2. It is the 11^th largest city in the UK and the smallest capital city in Europe.
3. The name of the city derives from the Middle Welsh Caerdyf, which means “Fort beside the River Taff”. Today, the Welsh name for the city is Caerdydd.
4. Only 10% of the population of Cardiff speaks Welsh.
5. Cardiff is home to the oldest record shop in the world. It is called Spiller’s, and has been open since 1894, when it sold wax cylinders for the phonograph.
6. Cardiff is also home to The Millennium Stadium, the Second Largest in the World. It employs a professionally trained falcon to keep pests at bay, and the Stadium’s Toilet has won the Loo of the year award twice.
7. Cardiff claims to have the largest concentration of castles of any city in the world. There’s Cardiff Castle, Castell Coch, the remains of two Motte and Bailey castles in Radyr and Rhiwbina, a castle at Whitchurch (although houses were built over this one in the 1960s), and Castell Morgraig. Not to mention two which aren’t strictly speaking castles but which call themselves so – the ruined Llandaff Bishop's Palace, a fortified residence belonging to the Bishops of Llandaff and Saint Fagans Castle, a seventeenth century manor house, once the seat of the Earls of Plymouth.
8. Most people believe it’s always raining in Wales, but Cardiff actually gets more hours of sunshine per year than Milan in Italy.
9. Cardiff has lots of underground tunnels which nobody knows the true purpose of. Some were used as short cuts for dock workers, other tunnels have been found linking hotels and Cardiff Castle.
10. Famous people who come from Cardiff include Singers Shirley Bassey and Charlotte Church, comedian Griff Rhys-Jones, writer Roald Dahl and footballer Ryan Giggs.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book

27 October: The New York City Subway

On this date in 1904 The New York City Subway started operating. The 9.1-mile (14.6 km) subway line, was called the "Manhattan Main Line", and ran from City Hall to 145th Street station in Harlem. More than 150,000 people paid the 5¢ fare to ride it on its first day of operation. 10 things you might not know about the New York Subway.

1. The New York Subway is the seventh busiest public transit system in the world. Tokyo comes in first, followed by Shanghai, Seoul, Guangzhou and Moscow. The NYC subway does, however, hold the record for the system with the most stations. There are 472, only 2 of which are not open 24 hours a day.
2. The idea of a subway system in New York dates back to 1869 when Alfred Ely Beach built the first demonstration for an underground transit system which extended 312 feet (95 m) under Broadway from Warren Street to Murray Street. It was never extended for political and financial reasons. However, the Great Blizzard of 1888 made the politicians think again. A plan for the construction of the subway was approved in 1894, and construction began in 1900.
3. In 2016, 5.7 million people were riding the Subway on an average weekday. 1.757 billion people used it over the course of the year.
4. The busiest station is Times Square with around 63 million people passing through every year. The highest station above ground is Smith-9 Streets in Brooklyn. It is 88 feet above street level, and is the highest rapid transit station in the world. The deepest station is 191 Street in Manhattan at 180 feet below street level.
5. The longest of the 28 routes is the A Line, which runs from 207th Street in Manhattan to Far Rockaway in Queens. It is over 31 miles long. This line also boasts the longest run between stations – 3.5 miles between Howard Beach/JFK Airport and Broad Channel in Queens.
6. The system comprises, since the latest extension in 2017, over 655 miles of track. If all this track was laid out in a straight line it would reach from New York to Chicago.
7. When the fare increased to 15 cents in 1953 there was a problem, because vending machines which accepted more than one type of coin hadn’t been invented yet. So they came up with subway tokens. They weren’t without their problems since criminals found a way to cheat the system involving jamming the machines and sucking tokens out with their mouths. Pretty unsanitary. Some subway staff tried to stop it by sprinkling mace or hot chilli powder into the slots. Nevertheless, tokens were used for 50 years until 2003 when a magnetic card system was introduced. No more handling of tokens which could have been in some criminal’s cake hole, but they can track people’s every move with them. Fine if you’re accused of a crime and your card provides your alibi, but who knows what else they could be used for in a dystopian future.
8. In 1993 a 16 year old wannabe train driver called Keron Thomas managed to take control of a train for three hours, and was doing a reasonable job until he accidentally triggered an emergency brake and was put on probation. When the subway system opened in 1904, Mayor George B. McClean started the train as part of the opening ceremony. He was supposed to hand over control to a professional driver after that, but didn’t. He declared that he was "running this train," and ended up driving for most of the journey; but didn’t, presumably, get put on probation.
9. If you’re late for work because of a train delay and your boss won’t believe you, the MTA will email or fax you a "late letter".
10. There is a secret platform underneath the Waldorf-Astoria building for extremely rich people to use. President Franklin Roosevelt used it so people wouldn’t know he used a wheelchair.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book

26 October: Essex Day

Today is Essex Day. This date was chosen because it is the feast day of St Cedd, a missionary who was sent to the East Saxons to turn them back from their pagan ways. He was appointed bishop there and became the county’s patron saint. 10 things you might not know about Essex.

1. It was the East Saxons who gave the county its name. They were known as ‘Eastseaxe’. The Essex coat of arms consists of three of their knives. The first recording of Essex was in AD 527 and it was bigger then, including what is now Middlesex, most of Surrey and parts of Hertfordshire.
2. It has the second longest coastline of any English county at 350 miles, which is the distance between London and Germany. It has more islands than any other county – 35 – and the highest point is Chrishall Common near Langley, on the Essex/Herts border, 147 metres above sea level.
3. Essex boasts a number of “oldests”. Colchester is Britain’s oldest town, and was the capital in Roman times and known then as Camulodunum. Back then it had a mint making coins which were marked CAMV (meaning Camulodunum). Essex also has the oldest wooden church (Greenstead Church built in 1081); the oldest motor lifeboat (The James Stevens); the oldest battlefield (Northey Island, site of the battle of Maldon) and the oldest timber framed barn (at Cressing Temple near Braintree, the barn was built by the Knights Templar).
4. Then there is the oldest competition still running today, the Flitch Trials in Great Dunmow, which were actually mentioned in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. The aim of the contest was to find a married couple who had not argued or regretted their marriage for a year and a day. A mock court of locals is set up to test the claims and the prize is a flitch of bacon. The tradition dates back to 1104 when the lord and lady of the manor ‘dressed themselves as humble folk and begged blessing of the prior a year and a day after their marriage’. The prior was so impressed he awarded them a flitch of bacon.
5. Southend is unusual among British seaside resorts as it is growing rather than declining. Its proximity to London is one reason given as to why it’s bucking the trend. It also has the longest pleasure pier in the world, at 1.33 miles long.
6. Britain’s smallest town and largest village are both in Essex. Manningtree claims to be the smallest town with an area of just over 19 hectares (47 acres) and a population of just 200, while the village of Tiptree has a population of over 9,000. Tiptree’s other claim to fame is that it has a farm growing Little Scarlet Strawberries, a rare breed perfect for making jam.
7. Great Bentley has the largest village green in England – 43 acres. It’s so big that in Edwardian times it was used as a golf course.
8. England’s most haunted house is here too. Borley Rectory boasts tales of floating nuns and headless figures dating back over 200 years and a mysterious Fire in 1939 which meant the building itself was demolished. The grounds, however, are still a popular location for ghost hunts.
9. Essex also has a “secret nuclear bunker” at Kelvedon Hatch, 40m underground, built in the early 1950s. 600 people could shelter in it in the event of a nuclear war. It’s not so secret now – it’s open to the public and any number of Brown signs will tell you exactly where it is.
10. Essex is said to have more speed cameras per mile than anywhere else in the world – so if you go there, watch your speed.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book

25 October: The Battle of Balaclava

On this date in 1854 the Battle of Balaclava took place. 10 things you might not know about it:

1. The battle took place during the Crimean War and was between an alliance of the Ottoman Empire, the French Empire, and the United Kingdom against the Russian Empire. The Russians won.
2. The battle was part of the The siege of Sevastopol, Sevastopol being the capital of Crimea and the home of the Tsar's Black Sea Fleet, which threatened the Mediterranean. The Allies landed at Eupatoria on 14 September with 50,000 men and the intention of marching to the city and taking it. Needless to say, the Russians weren’t having it. The 56-kilometre/35 mile trek from Eupatoria to Sevastopol took about a year as the Russians kept attacking. There were a number of battles along the way, Balaclava being just one of them.
3. Balaclava is a port on the south Crimean coast, which is now part of the city of Sevastopol. There has been a settlement at that location since Ancient Greek times, when it was called Symbolon. The town changed hands, and names, several times – the Byzantines called it Yamboli and the Genoese named it Cembalo. The Turks gave it its current name in 1475 when they re-named it Balyk-Yuva, which means Fish's Nest. It has in turn given its name to a knitted garment covering the head and neck, the balaclava, because soldiers first wore them here.
4. One famous event which took place during the battle is “The Thin Red Line”, when the 93rd Highlanders under the command of Sir Colin Campbell stood between the charging Russian cavalry and the British cavalry. The event was so called because the regiment wore red and the line was just two men thick. From his vantage point on Sapouné Hill William Russell, the Times correspondent, described what he saw as a ‘thin red line tipped with steel’. The steel, of course, was the guns, with which they fired several volleys at the Russians, who withdrew.
5. Possibly the best known event of this Battle was the Charge of the Light Brigade. More about that later, but did you know there was also a Charge of the Heavy Brigade? The British Heavy Brigade, 900 cavalrymen commanded by Major General James Scarlett, which engaged with the 3,000 strong Russian Cavalry with help from the “Thin Red Line”.
6. The Charge of the Light Brigade was actually a monumental screw up caused by muddled and confusing orders from those at the top, and the animosity between the man who delivered the order and the commander of the Light Brigade, one Lord Lucan. As the Russian cavalry fled from the Heavy Brigade, a Captain Morris, who was in charge of the 17th Lancers, tried to persuade the British commander, Lord Cardigan, that there was a great opportunity here for the Light Brigade to rout them, but Cardigan wasn’t having it. Morris is said to have slapped his thigh and declare, ‘What an opportunity we have missed’. His opinion was shared by much of the army.
7. From where he was situated, Lord Lucan was unable to see what was going on and when General Airey’s written order (‘Lord Raglan wishes the cavalry to advance rapidly to the front, and try to prevent the enemy carrying away the guns. Troop of Horse artillery may accompany. French cavalry is on your left. Immediate.’) was delivered by a man named Nolan, Lucan asked, which enemy and which guns? Nolan is said to have flung his arm out in the direction of the Russian cavalry force positioned behind its guns at the end of the North Valley and retorted, ‘There is your enemy. There are your guns, My Lord.’ His insolent reply meant that Lucan was disinclined to seek any more clarification and so sent the Light Brigade off in the wrong direction resulting in the loss of 278 soldiers.
8. Despite the incompetence of their commanders, the Light Brigade fought bravely and inspired Alfred Lord Tennyson to write his famous poem about it. The poem includes the lines, “Someone had blundered: Theirs not to make reply, Theirs not to reason why, Theirs but to do and die.” Tennyson also wrote a poem about the Charge of the Heavy Brigade, but that is less well known. Composer Franz Suppé was inspired by it too, and wrote an overture in tribute and called it ‘Light Cavalry’.
9. The famous words ‘C’est magnifique, mais ce n’est pas la guerre’, (It’s magnificent but it’s not war) were uttered by the French General Bosquet as he watched the charge.
10. The British lost the battle which meant that the Woronzoff Road, important for communications between the British base at Balaclava and the siege lines outside Sevastopol, was lost for the winter of 1854/1855, a major setback. While battle honours are usually reserved for the winners of a conflict, the courage displayed by the soldiers meant the military authorities awarded Balaclava as a battle honour to the regiments involved.

Killing Me Softly

Sebastian Garrett is an assassin. It wasn’t his first choice of vocation, but nonetheless, he’s good at it, and can be relied upon to get the job done. He’s on top of his game.

Until he is contracted to kill Princess Helena of Galorvia. She is not just any princess. Sebastian doesn’t bargain on his intended victim being a super-heroine who gives as good as she gets. Only his own genetic variant power saves him from becoming the victim, instead of Helena. 

Fate has another surprise in store. Sebastian was not expecting to fall in love with her.

Available on Amazon:

Paperback

E-book