30th September: Army Incompetence Day

For Army Incompetence Day, here are 10 army quotes and anecdotes about times armies have been less than perfect:

1. Israeli troops have this morning entered the Arab township of Hebron in search of the perpetrators of the recent suicide bomb attacks in Jerusalem, who they believe are in hiding there. CNN News
2. Bumper sticker on the stealth bomber: If you can read this, then we wasted 50 million bucks.
3. The best defence against the atom bomb is not to be there when it goes off. British Army Journal
4. An army of sheep led by a lion would defeat an army of lions led by a sheep. Arab proverb
5. Teamwork is essential - it gives the enemy something else to shoot at.
6. We are not retreating. We are advancing in another direction. General Douglas McArthur
7. Officer: How did the men do in their shooting practice? Sergeant: One of them hit the bull first time, sir. Officer: Good - how far away was it? Sergeant: The next field, sir. The farmer’s coming to see you this afternoon.
8. During his army entrance interview a candidate was startled to be greeted by the sharp command, “Get under the table at once!” Thinking that this must be some impromptu test of discipline, he obediently dived under the table - and saw a large dog creeping in from the other side.
9. When Princess Anne was visiting the British Army overseas, the conversation turned to nicknames of regiments. Noticing that one major wore the shoulder flashes of the Duke of Edinburgh’s Royal Regiment, the Princess inquired if he knew her family’s nickname for his regiment. “No, Ma’am,” He replied. “Dad’s Army,” she said.
10. Inform all the troops that communications have completely broken down.

29th September: St Michael's Day

Today is the Feast of St Michael the Archangel, or Michaelmas. Unlike most saints, St Michael isn't a human being, but an archangel. Here are 10 more things you might not know about him:

1. His name means ‘Who is like God?’
2. He was the leader of the army which threw the devil out of heaven, and is usually depicted slaying a dragon; but there is another side to him - he is also considered to be a healer in some traditions.
3. He and the Archangel Gabriel are the only two angels mentioned by name in the Bible.
4. He is venerated by Jews and Muslims as well as by Christians.
5. Michael is the patron saint of many things, including chivalry, warriors, mariners, grocers, supermarket workers, the sick and dying, ambulance drivers and paramedics, hatters, several mountains in Germany, paratroopers, security forces, police officers, radiologists, bankers, the Basques, Brussels, Germany, Papua New Guinea, artists, bakers, coopers, Cornwall, haberdashers, knights, high places, and swordsmiths. He is also the special protector of the nation of Israel.
6. There is a Cornish legend that Michael appeared to fishermen on St Michael's Mount in the fifth century.
7. Angel experts like Doreen Virtue say that Michael can be called upon for instant help in an emergency, and that some people in crisis situations have seen blue lights, which could be Michael's aura, which is such a bright purple that it looks blue, or they hear him speaking to them, loudly and clearly and straight to the point. Others say that when the archangel is around you would simply get a strong gut feeling about what to do, or a feeling of comfort and warmth.
8. The archangel Michael is said to rule the planet Mercury and the Sun, and to have his own day of the week - Wednesday.
9. The best known Ley Line in England is named after St Michael. The St Michael Line joins Penzance in Cornwall with Great Yarmouth in Suffolk and passes through a number of significant landmarks, including St Michael's Mount, Glastonbury Tor and Silbury Hill.
10. St Michael's Day, or Michaelmas, has been celebrated in numerous ways through history. It was once the day for choosing bailiffs and magistrates, with an hour's gap between the rule of the old and the new, known as the lawless hour, during which people would throw cabbage stalks at each other. The Lord Mayor of London would also be elected on this day. A lot of observances relate to the turning of the seasons and the official end of summer. The fishing season ends and the hunting season begins; apples are picked to make cider; In Waterford, Ireland, it is the end of the tourist season and there is a tradition there where an effigy of the archangel is thrown into the sea in protest at the loss of tourist revenue.

28th September: Birthday of Confucius

Today is traditionally the birthday of the Chinese philosopher and teacher, born in 551 BC. So here are 10 facts about him.

1. He was born in Zou, Lu state (near present-day Qufu, Shandong Province).
2. His given name was Kong Qiu, but he was usually called Kong Fuzi, or "Master Kong". Jesuit missionaries to China in the 16th century Latinised this to get Confucius. His followers also called him "Laudably Declarable Lord Ni", "Extremely Sage Departed Teacher", the "Great Sage", "First Teacher" and "Model Teacher for Ten Thousand Ages".
3. His father was a military officer who died when Confucius was three years old, so he was very poor for most of his childhood.
4. He married at the age of 19 and had a family. He is said to have worked as a shepherd, cowherd, clerk, and a book-keeper to support them.
5. Asked by one of his students to sum up the way to live one's life in one word, Confucius answered "reciprocity". Essentially, "do as you would be done by", or as he expanded it, Never impose on others what you would not choose for yourself. It is interesting to note that by this time he had left his wife and family to become a travelling teacher, so arguably he didn't always follow his own advice!
6. At the age of about 50, he entered politics. He taught that leaders should set an example to the people, who should in turn give their leaders due respect. He became a judge, and was made the minister for law and order in his state. During his tenure, crime rates in the state fell drastically.
7. Disappointment in the conduct of the Duke of Lu state led Confucius to a self imposed exile for 12 years. A neighbouring state, concerned that Lu was becoming too powerful, sent the Duke of Lu a gift of horses and dancing girls, and the Duke neglected his official duties for three days. The final straw was when the Duke failed to send Confucius the portion of sacrificial meat that was traditionally his due. Confucius resigned and left Lu to travel around, expounding his political beliefs to other Chinese states, but none of them were interested.
8. He died at the age of 72 from natural causes. His tomb was built in the shape of an axe.
9. It was traditional in China to hold memorial services to Confucius every year, until the Communist Party banned them. However, in recent years, the practice has resumed as a celebration of Chinese history and culture, and even members of the Communist Party take part.
10. After the death of Confucius, his family, the Kongs, kept records of his descendants which still exist today, going back 83 generations, making it the longest pedigree in the world. His descendants now number three million, who live not only in China but also in Korea and Taiwan.

27 September: International Rabbit Day

The last Saturday in September is International Rabbit Day, which exists to promote a healthy environment for pet rabbits and to campaign against the use of rabbits for furs and food. 10 things you might not know about rabbits.

1. There are more than 50 species of rabbit in the world. The domestic rabbit is Oryctolagus cuniculus.
2. The smallest rabbit species are about 8 inches (20cm) long and weigh less than a pound. Larger rabbits grow to 20 inches (50 cm) and more than 4 pounds(1.8 kilograms). The largest rabbit in the world is called Darius. He weighs approximately 50 pounds and is currently 4 feet, 3 inches long, and reportedly thinks he is a dog. His size makes him a very valuable pet, and his owner, Annette Edwards, has him insured for over a million dollars.
3. Rabbits are the third most popular pet in the UK, after Cats and Dogs.
4. Rabbits cannot sweat. They regulate their body temperature through their long ears.
5. Disgustingness alert: rabbits eat their own poo. This is because their diet consists largely of grass and leaves which are difficult to digest, so they eat their poo to get more nutrients out of it. The same reason a Cow chews the cud.
6. In Japanese tradition, rabbits live on the Moon where they make mochi, a popular snack of mashed sticky Rice.
7. In Aztec mythology, a pantheon of four hundred rabbit gods known as Centzon Totochtin, led by Ometotchtli or Two Rabbit, represented fertility, parties, and drunkenness.
8. Rabbits are sometimes referred to as "bunnies". The word "bunny" comes from a separate English term bun, which was used in place of the word "rabbit" in some areas in medieval England.
9. Rabbits are very social animals, and will groom each other. If you're going to keep a pet rabbit you should get two (neutered, of course!) so they will be company for each other. A single pet rabbit will get lonely.
10. On the Isle of Portland in Dorset, UK, rabbits are said to be so unlucky that even saying the word "rabbit" can make older people there very nervous and at one time it would have been possible to empty a pub simply by walking in and calling out the word "rabbit"! To ward off bad luck, if they had to speak about the creatures they would say “long ears” or “underground mutton” instead. This superstition is thought to originate from early quarrying days, when the rabbits' natural tendency to burrow would weaken quarry walls causing potentially fatal collapses.

September 26th: Ivan Pavlov's birthday

Ivan Pavlov was born in 1849 and is famous for his conditioning experiments where he rang a bell before feeding his dogs so that, eventually, they would salivate at the sound of the bell because they had learned that the bell meant food. We poked fun at Schrodinger's cat a few weeks ago, so today, 10 Pavlov's dog jokes:

1. Pavlov - now that name rings a bell.
2. Hear about Pavlov's dogs? They savaged the Avon Lady.
3. Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint, the phone rings and he jumps up shouting "Oh shit, I forgot to feed the dog!"
4. Pavlov’s Dog's Diary: “Day 19, I have successfully conditioned my master to smile and write in his book every time I drool.”
5. I was in my Psychology class yesterday and we were learning about Pavlov and laughing about how stupid those dogs were. Anyway, then the bell went and we all went for lunch.
6. Pavlov's first attempt at conditioning his dogs just left them with lovely shiny fur.
7. Sign on the door of Pavlov's laboratory: "Please don't ring bell".
8. Little known failure: Pavlov's cat.
9. Pavlov's dog talking to psychaitrist: "And then instead of feeding me, he would ring a bell."
10. How did Pavlov's dog die? He drowned in a phone booth.

25th September: National Ask a Question Day

For National Ask a Question Day, here are 10 questions to ponder:

1. How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
2. What shape does a pear go when everything goes wrong?
3. Where does the white go when the snow melts?
4. What was sliced bread the greatest thing since?
5. Why isn’t there mouse flavoured cat food?
6. How do you know when you’ve run out of invisible ink?
7. How do you plan a surprise birthday party for a psychic?
8. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
9. Why are square boxing arenas called rings?
10. Who does God thank that it’s Friday?

September 24: Guinea-Bissau Independence Day

Today is the National Day of Guinea-Bissau, celebrating their Independence from Portugal in 1973. 10 facts about the country:

NASA satellite image of Guinea-Bissau

1. It is bordered by Senegal to the north, Guinea to the south and east, and the Atlantic Ocean to its west.
2. At 36,125 square kilometres (13,948 sq mi), the country is larger than Taiwan or Belgium. Other sources list it as being three times the size of the US state of Connecticut.
3. The altitude is low, ranging from sea level in coastal areas to its highest point of 300 metres (984 ft) in the north east corner of the country. The highest point does not have a name.
4. The capital and largest city is Bissau - the name of the city was added to the name of the country after independence to distinguish it from the Republic of Guinea.
5. The national emblem of Guinea-Bissau comprises a Black star, often referred to as the Black star of Africa; and a seashell at the bottom uniting two symmetrical Olive branches. The sea shell is symbolism for the country's coastal location.
6. The national motto of the nation translates into English as "Unity, Struggle, Progress".
7. It is the 147th most populous country in the world with a 2010 estimate of 1,647,000 people living there.
8. Only 14% of the people speak the official language, Portuguese. The most widely spoken language (44%) is Kriol, a Portuguese-based creole language. Others speak a variety of native African languages.
9. The Portuguese set up colonies and trading posts around the coasts and on rivers as early as the 16th century, but did not explore inland for 300 years, because the local rulers would not allow them to. They were only there to trade, with slaves being one of the major exports at that time.
10. Today, the major exports are fish, cashew nuts and ground nuts.

23 September: Autumn Equinox

Autumn is here. 10 facts about the beginning of autumn.

1. Also known as Mabon, which may have come from the name of a follower of King Arthur, or a Welsh saint, or a Cornish saint. This name may have been first coined by pagan author Aidan Kelley as recently as 1970.
2. Another name for it is Alban Elfed, meaning the light of the water.
3. Celebrations and observances often focus on either the second harvest (eg the church harvest festival services celebrated on the nearest Sunday to it) and gratitude for what we have. A good way to celebrate is to get together for a feast, but for each guest to bring an extra item which can be donated to a food bank or homeless shelter.
4. Another focus of the equinox is the balance between dark and light, and the changing of the season as winter and longer nights approach. The Crone aspect of the triple goddess is acknowledged at this time, as are the goddesses of night, such as Demeter (mother of Persephone), Hecate, Kali and Morrighan.
5. The iconic fruit of the celebration is the Apple, so many customs and observances involve apples, which also represent wisdom and guidance. Pomona, the goddess of apples may be honored along with the list of goddesses mentioned above.
6. Wine making (and drinking!) is also traditional as the grape harvest happens about now, too. The traditional drink for teetotallers is Dandelion and burdock cordials.
7. Many see it as a good time to perform an autumn "spring clean" and to perform ritual blessings on their houses, seeing as they will be spending more time indoors through the winter months.
8. At the equinox, the sun rises and sets directly in the east and west respectively - but afterwards, going into winter, the sun will rise and set slightly further south, until the winter solstice, after which the rising and setting point starts moving north again.
9. The Autumn equinox was the first day of the French Republican Calendar, although this is more to do with the French monarchy being abolished on September 21 1792 rather than with the equinox itself.
10. The nearest full moon to the Autumn Equinox is known as the Harvest Moon. This year's was on September 9, and it was also a "supermoon" because the moon was 800 miles closer to the earth than usual.

22nd September: Elephant Appreciation Day

Elephant Appreciation Day was founded by Wayne Hepburn, after he received a paperweight of elephants on parade as a gift and became fascinated by them. 10 fascinating facts about elephants.

1. Baby elephants suck their trunks for comfort in the same way that humans suck their thumbs.
2. Colonel Hathi, the elephant in The Jungle Book is so named because Hathi is the Hindi word for elephant.
3. Elephants use sunscreen. They bathe in mud, then blow dust onto the wet mud with their trunks. This dries to form a protective crust which protects them from the Sun.
4. Elephants' teeth are replaced as many as six or seven times during their lives. When the last set of teeth wears out, they can no longer eat. A solitary elephant would starve, but elephants in groups will help a toothless elephant to feed.
5. For a long time, only two living species of elephant were recognised - the Indian and the African. Since 2010, scientists have recognised that there are two different species in Africa - the Savannah Elephant and the Forest Elephant.
6. Elephants are right- or left-tusked. Like handedness in humans, elephants show a preference for one side - wild elephants' tusks are usually more worn on one side than the other. Individuals have also been observed to show a preference as to which way they rotate their trunks when performing tasks.
7. Humans have trained elephants to kill. The elephants Hannibal took over the Alps were his war elephants, trained to pick up enemies and throw them, or impale them on the ground using their tusks (which would have been fitted with sharp metal points for the purpose). In some parts of India, a common method of capital punishment was execution by elephant. The animals were trained to either kill the condemned person quickly, or to torture them first. The method was popular with kings, because it demonstrated their power over wild animals as well as people.
8. Elephants have a religious significance to many peoples. The Mbuti believe that the souls of their dead ancestors live on in elephants. In Hinduism, they represent lightning and rainbows, as well as the elephant headed god Ganesha being one of the most revered deities. Ganesha is associated with writers and merchants and it is believed that he can give people success as well as grant them their desires. In Buddhism, Buddha is said to have been a white elephant reincarnated as a human. The Prophet Muhammad was born in the year of the elephant. The Romans believed that elephants had a religion of their own and worshipped the sun and the stars.
9. Elephants can recognise themselves in a mirror, and they use tools. They have been observed using branches as fly swatters and piling up blocks to reach food.
10. Elephants are very sociable animals, at least, the females are. They live together in family groups with their calves, and the group stays together for life, although once male calves reach puberty they are encouraged to leave, and male elephants tend to be solitary once they grow up. These social groups sometimes cluster together and form a larger clan. Each family group is led by a matriarch, often the oldest female, although when she dies it will be her daughter which takes over rather than her sister or whichever remaining elephant is the oldest. The death of the matriarch has been shown to cause increased production of stress hormones of other group members in zoo elephants.

21 September: Gustav Holst and The Planets

On this date in 1874 Gustav Holst, the composer was born. He is most famous for his orchestral suite The Planets. 10 things you didn't know about The Planets.

1. Gustav Holst was an amateur astrologer whose lifelong hobby was casting astrological charts for his friends. The Planets suite was inspired by Astrology, not astronomy which is why Earth is not included in it.
2. Holst was not altogether happy with the massive popularity of The Planets. He thought it took attention away from his other works, which he believed were much better. This is why, when Pluto was discovered, he had no interest in adding another movement to the work.
3. Saturn was Holst's favourite of the seven movements.
4. That didn't stop other people from trying. In 1972, in the final broadcast of his Young People's Concerts series, conductor Leonard Bernstein replaced the Saturn movement with an improvised performance he called Pluto, the Unpredictable. because he didn't think "Old Age" was a suitable theme for a young people's concert. In 2000, the Hallé Orchestra commissioned the English composer Colin Matthews, an authority on Holst, to write an eighth movement, which he called Pluto, the Renewer. Now that Pluto is no longer considered a planet, presumably the pressure is off.
5. The first public première in September 1918 wasn't really public at all, as it was open only to 250 invited guests. The orchestra only had two hours to rehearse the whole thing. The first few public performances did not include all the movements. One reason was that the conductor, Adrian Boult, did not think the public could cope with more than half an hour of such complicated music! (A typical performance of all seven movements lasts for about fifty minutes). The whole thing wasn't performed for the general public until November 1920. Holst himself did not like incomplete performances, especially if they finished with Jupiter, because real life never ends on a happy note.
6. Holst was a pioneer of the now ubiquitous fade out ending. Neptune ends with the last bar, performed by the chorus, and to achieve the fade out effect the choir had to be in an adjoining room, and as they sang the last bar over and over, the door to that room was slowly closed. Audiences loved it.
7. The suite was originally written for two pianos, except for Neptune, which was scored for a single organ, as Holst believed that the sound of the piano was too percussive for a world as mysterious and distant as Neptune.
8. Much of the original score was dictated, because Holst suffered from neuritis in his right arm, which made writing difficult and painful.
9. Holst denied the speculation that Mars was inspired by the outbreak of World War I. He claimed that he had finished Mars long before this and was actually writing Venus at the time.
10. The Planets has been an inspiration to many modern rock artists, who have adapted parts of it in their own works - including Jeff Wayne and Rick Wakeman, Emerson, Lake and Powell, King Crimson, Manfred Mann's Earth Band, Dave Edmunds' band Love Sculpture, Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath.

September 20th: Dr Joyce Brothers

This date in 1928 was the birth of Dr. Joyce Brothers, a TV psychologist who first gained fame in 1955 by becoming the only woman ever to win the game show The $64,000 Question, with a specialist subject of boxing. Boxing had not been her choice of topic, but the one suggested to her by the sponsors. She figured she could get by by reading every book on boxing that she could find and allow her excellent memory to do the rest. There were allegations that the quiz shows were rigged, but Brothers insisted (and it was later proved) that she had never cheated. Her success on The $64,000 Question earned Brothers a chance to be a commentator for the boxing match between Carmen Basilio and Sugar Ray Robinson. She was said to be the first woman to ever be a boxing commentator. Which is just a couple of interesting facts and then I couldn't find any more so I switched to quotations instead:

1. Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success.
2. Being taken for granted can be a compliment. It means that you've become a comfortable, trusted element in another person's life.
3. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success.
4. The best proof of love is trust.
5. Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level.
6. The person interested in success has to learn to view failure as a healthy, inevitable part of the process of getting to the top.
7. Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.
8. If Shakespeare had to go on an author tour to promote Romeo and Juliet, he never would have written Macbeth.
9. The cynic finds love with the idealist. The rebel with the conformist. The social butterfly with the bookworm. They help each other balance their lives.
10. I have found in work that you only get back what you put into it, but it does come back gift-wrapped.

19th September: George Cadbury

On this date in 1839, George Cadbury, the Chocolate manufacturer was born so here are 10 chocolate jokes:

1. I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.
2. How do you get a peanut out of your ear? Pour some chocolate in and it’ll come out a treat.
3. Coffee makes it possible to get out of bed, chocolate makes it worthwhile.
4. Inside of me there is a skinny woman trying to get out but I can usually shut her up with chocolate.
5. Anything is good if it's made of chocolate. Ashleigh Brilliant
6. There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate. Charles Dickens
7. A man at the chocolate factory fell into a batch of chocolate. His mates could be heard singing, “Billy, don’t be an Aero.”
8. Chocolate is a health food if you count mental health.
9. What the hell is up with fun sized chocolate bars? There's nothing fun about less chocolate.
10. If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet?

18th September: Scotland decides

Today's the day that the Scottish people votedto stay in the United Kingdom. Here are 10 things you might not know about Scotland:

1. Edinburgh is the capital, but Glasgow is the largest city. Glasgow was at one time known as "the Second City of the Empire" after London.
2. Edinburgh was the first city in the world to have its own fire brigade and has more listed buildings than anywhere else in the world.
3. Scotland is home to the shortest scheduled flight in the world (one-and-a-half miles from Westray to Papa Westray in the Orkney Islands of Scotland. The journey takes 1 minute 14 seconds) and the longest echo in a man made structure (15 seconds, at The Hamilton Mausoleum in South Lanarkshire).
4. It is also home to the world's tallest tree (a grand fir planted beside Loch Fyne, Argyll in the 1870s) and the oldest tree in Europe (the Fortingall Yew, which could be 5,000 years old and there is a local legend that Pontius Pilate was born under it and played under it as a child).
5. The motto of Scotland is Nemo me impune lacessit, or: "No one provokes me with impunity".
6. The national animal of Scotland is fictitious - the Unicorn.
7. There are more people living abroad who can claim Scottish ancestry than there are people in Scotland itself. 5.2 people live in Scotland, whereas 9.2 million Americans say they are of Scottish descent - and then there's 4.7 million in Canada, and 20% of New Zealand's original settlers were Scottish.
8. Although tartan is widely associated with Scotland, between 1746 and 1782, it was illegal to wear tartan there.
9. Although Scotland and England share a monarch at the moment, that wasn't always the case, and there has already been controversy around regnal numbering. Elizabeth I was only queen of England and so when the current queen was crowned, there was a legal action contesting her right to be called Elizabeth II in Scotland. As a result of that, it was agreed that future monarchs will be known by the higher of the two numbers if there is a discrepancy. So if there is a King Henry he will be Henry IX in England and Scotland, even though there has never been a King Henry in Scotland, and a King James would be James XIII, even though England has only had two kings called James. Although if they vote for independence, presumably all this will be irrelevant.
10. Scotland has the highest proportion of redheads in the world. Around 13 per cent of the population has red hair, with 40 per cent carrying the recessive gene.

17th September: Sir Francis Chichester

Sir Francis Chichester, the first person to sail single-handed around the world by the clipper route, was born today in 1901.

1. From the age of 18 until the end of World War II, he lived in New Zealand and had a property development company.
2. Although best known for his sailing, Chichester's first love was flying. He learned to fly during a visit to England in 1929, qualified as a pilot and decided to fly himself back to New Zealand in his new Gypsy Moth aeroplane, and to try and break the speed record for flying solo to Australia on the way. He did the trip in 41 days, but mechanical problems meant that he failed to beat the record.
3. He was the first person to use off course navigation in an aircraft, using the sun to fix his position. This is not an easy task when flying an aircraft solo - he had to take reading's of the Sun's position using a sextant in a moving aircraft, then do the calculations by hand, while flying the plane at the same time. It worked for him, though, and he was able to navigate around tiny Pacific islands.
4. His success with this method inspired him to try flying around the world. He got as far as Japan before colliding with an overhead cable and forced to give up because of his injuries.
5. In World War II he wanted to join the Royal Air Force, but was turned down due to his age and eyesight. So he joined the Volunteer Reserves as a navigation specialist and instructor. He wrote the navigation manual that allowed the pilots of single-handed fighter aircraft to navigate across Europe and back.
6. One of his hobbies was buying surplus Air Ministry maps, sticking them to card and making jigsaw puzzles out of them.
7. His famous trip around the world in his yacht, Gypsy Moth IV took 226 days, with just one stop, in Sydney.
8. He was knighted in 1967 for "individual achievement and sustained endeavour in the navigation and seamanship of small craft". The sword used by Queen Elizabeth II for the ceremony was the very same one that had been used by Elizabeth I to knight Sir Francis Drake, who was the first Englishman to circumnavigate the globe, although the first Sir Francis had had a crew to help him.
9. Chichester was featured on a UK Postage stamp in the same year, going against the tradition that stated that no-one who was not a member of the Royal Family and was still alive could feature on a stamp.
10. The Dire Straits song, Single Handed Sailor, is a tribute to Sir Francis Chichester.

September 16th: The Mayflower set sail

The Mayflower set sail for the New World on this date in 1620. 10 things about the Mayflower:

1. Nobody knows for sure where the famous ship was built, but it was thought to be Harwich in Essex, because the ship was designated as being "of Harwich" in port records.
2. A designation was needed because Mayflower was actually a very common name for ships in those times. Nobody knows quite why the name was so popular before the pilgrims' voyage, but there were 26 other ships in England with the same name at the time.
3. The Mayflower was built and worked as a cargo ship for many years before her most famous voyage and had carried goods such as wool, wine, hats, hemp, Spanish salt, hops and vinegar. The ship had possibly even been whaling in Greenland.
4. The voyage was supposed to start much earlier than it did. It could be said to have started in July 1620 from Rotherhithe in London, where 65 passengers boarded. From there it sailed to Southampton to start the voyage proper from there in early August, but a second ship, the Speedwell, sprang a leak so they had to turn back to Dartmouth so that the Speedwell could be repaired, and finally set sail after a final stop in Plymouth to stock up with fresh water. It's said that it did make another stop before leaving Britain completely, in Newlyn, Cornwall, because the water from Plymouth was contaminated; the plaque in Newlyn doesn't mention the exact date, and most historical accounts fail to mention it at all.
5. The voyage to America took 66 days, a long time even for those days, because they were mostly sailing against the prevailing wind, which was actually more difficult on the Mayflower because of a 30 foot high "castle" on her stern. The ship's journey back the following spring took less than half the time with the same winds behind her.
6. The original plan was not to go to Massachusetts at all, but to Virginia. Nor were these pilgrims the first colony in the New World. There was already a colony in Virginia, which is why they wanted to go there. However, the ship went seriously off course. This may have been unfavourable winds, or an inept navigator, or a bit of both. It being November by now, the decision was made to land and set up a base to spend the winter.
7. There were 102 passengers and about 30 crew. Two people died on the voyage, but two babies were born (Oceanus Hopkins and Peregrine White).
8. The passengers had to suffer living in the cramped conditions not only for the voyage itself, but during all the delays for repairs etc - up to four months in all. There were no toilets on board (they had to use a bucket) and no way of washing their clothes. The only food they had to eat was salted meat and fish, dry ship’s biscuits, dried Peas and beans, dried fruits, and Cheese, and Beer, the only drink.
9. There were no actual passenger cabins, either - they all had to camp out on the gun deck, which was a mere fifty feet by twenty-five feet with a five foot ceiling. The ship was armed with cannons and ammunition in case of pirates, so it was not the safest place to be.
10. Massachusetts later adopted the mayflower as its state flower.

15th September: Dame Agatha Christie

On this date in 1890 Dame Agatha Christie, murder-mystery author, was born. 10 things you might not know about Agatha Christie:

1. Agatha Christie is the best selling novelist of all time according to the Guinness Book of World Records and she is also the most widely translated one., her books having been translated into 103 languages. Unsurprisingly, the best selling mystery novel ever is one of hers - And then There Were None, which has sold 100 million copies. Yet even Agatha Christie had her share of rejections in the early days. Her first novel, Snow Upon the Desert, was rejected by several publishers and agents, as was her first Poirot novel, The Mysterious Affair at Styles, until eventually one accepted it on the proviso that she re-wrote the ending.
2. During World War I she worked as an assistant at a hospital in Torquay, and qualified as an Apothecaries' Assistant (or Dispenser) in 1917. Then in World War II she worked in the pharmacy at University College Hospital, London. This was how she became knowledgeable about the various poisons which featured in her novels, such as Thallium, in The Pale Horse. Her description of thallium poisoning was so accurate that on one occasion doctors reading her novel realised that was what was wrong with a patient whose symptoms had baffled them.
3. She was married twice. Her first marriage, to Archie Christie, ended in divorce, because he had a mistress. In 1930 Christie married archaeologist Max Mallowan, having met him in an archaeological dig. That marriage was a happy one and lasted until her death.
4. It seems likely that the breakdown of her first marriage is what prompted her famous disappearance in 1926. She vanished after a quarrel with Archie, leaving a note for her secretary saying she had gone to Yorkshire. Her car was found abandoned near a lake in Guildford, which prompted a search lasting 10 days, involving over a thousand police officers, 15,000 volunteers and several aeroplanes. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle joined in the search by asking a psychic to find her using a glove belonging to Christie. Agatha Christie was eventually found at the Swan Hydropathic Hotel (now the Old Swan Hotel) in Harrogate, Yorkshire, registered as Mrs Teresa Neele from Cape Town. No-one is really sure why she disappeared, and she throws no light on it in her autobiography, where she does not mention the incident at all. The official diagnosis at the time was amnesia - depression brought on by her husband's affair has also been suggested. The public at the time suspected a publicity stunt. There is even a theory that she intended to commit suicide and frame her husband for her murder. It seems unlikely that her choice of alias, Neele, the surname of her husband's mistress, was a coincidence.
5. She also wrote six romances under the name Mary Westmacott. She also used the name Monosyllaba when submitting her first novel.
6. Towards the end of her career, Christie became thoroughly fed up with Hercule Poirot, describing him in her diary as "insufferable," and "an egocentric creep." She resisted any temptation to kill him off, though, because she knew the public liked him. She remained fond of Miss Marple, although she wrote twice as many novels featuring Poirot. The two characters never appeared together in any novel or story, because, in Christie's own words, "Hercule Poirot, a complete egoist, would not like being taught his business or having suggestions made to him by an elderly spinster lady".
7. She and her second husband were both honoured separately by the Queen for their work. She was made a Dame in 1971 after he had been knighted in 1968 for his work in archaeology. Because of her husband's knighthood she was entitled to call herself Lady Mallowan.
8. Christie was very interested in archaeology too and accompanied Mallowan on many digs, in places such as Syria and Iraq at excavation sites at Ur, Ninevah, Tell Arpachiyah, Chagar Bazar, Tell Brak, and Nimrud, helping with restoration work and taking notes and photographs. In her spare time on the digs, she wrote novels and short stories. She also wrote an account of her time in Syria, Come Tell Me How You Live, describing the places and the eccentric people she met there.
9. She travelled widely with her first husband, too, to South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and Hawaii, promoting the British Empire Exhibition. They left their daughter with her grandmother to take this trip. In Hawaii, they were among the first Britons to learn to surf standing up.
10. She and their siblings believed their mother was a psychic with second sight.

14 September: Debut of Mork and Mindy

This date in 1978 saw the début of Mork and Mindy on US television, the first big break for the late, great Robin Williams, so today here are 10 Robin Williams quotes.

1. Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
2. I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.
3. I'm sorry, if you were right, I'd agree with you.
4. You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
5. Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'
6. If Heaven exists, to know that there's laughter, that would be a great thing.
7. Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
8. Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
9. I have an idea for a movie called 'The Walken Dead' which is about a town where, instead of zombies, everyone becomes Chris Walken.
10. Look at the walls of Pompeii. That's what got the internet started.

September 13: Roald Dahl's birthday

Roald Dahl was born on this date in 1916. He wrote numerous children's books including Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Here are 10 words of wisdom from him:

1. Two hours of writing fiction leaves this writer completely drained. For those two hours he has been in a different place with totally different people.
2. A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men.
3. And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it.
4. A person who has good thoughts cannot ever be ugly. You can have a wonky nose and a crooked mouth and a double chin and stick-out teeth, but if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely.
5. It doesn't matter who you are or what you look like, so long as somebody loves you.
6. Grown ups are complicated creatures, full of quirks and secrets.
7. Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it's unbelievable...
8. I understand what you're saying, and your comments are valuable, but I'm gonna ignore your advice.
9. A little magic can take you a long way.
10. Having power is not nearly as important as what you choose to do with it.

12th September: Cleopatra's Needle

Cleopatra's needle was erected on the Thames Embankment on this date in 1878. Here are 10 things you may not know about Cleopatra's Needle.

1. Its correct title is the obelisk of Thutmose III. It has no connection with Cleopatra, other than that she authorised its first move to Alexandria. In fact, it pre-dates the famous Egyptian queen by a thousand years. It was originally made to stand in the Egyptian city of Heliopolis around 1450BC, commissioned by the Pharaoh Thutmose III.
2. It is made of red granite and stands 69 feet (21 metres) high, and is covered in hieroglyphs, which, according to experts, were added much later by Ramasses II to commemorate his military victories.
3. There were, in fact, three of them. One is still in place in Egypt, and the third was transported to New York, where it resides in Central Park. A fourth, from a different location, ended up in Paris.
4. In 1819, Muhammad Ali, the then ruler of Egypt (not the boxer formerly known as Cassius Clay) presented it to the UK to commemorate Lord Nelson's victory at the Battle of the Nile, and that of Sir Ralph Abercromby at the Battle of Alexandria. The UK said, thanks very much, but we can't afford to have it shipped over, so it stayed in Alexandria until 1877.
5. In 1877, an anatomist and dermatologist called Sir Erasmus Wilson, decided to pay the £10,000 (a small fortune in those days) for the transportation. It would appear that there was a lot of money to be made in treating skin diseases in the 19th century. It is said of him that he treated rich people by ordering them to give up their luxuries, and the poor by prescribing proper nourishment and regular bathing, often financed from his own pocket. One presumes the rich people were charged an arm and a leg to be told to give things up. The textbooks he wrote on the subject helped him make his fortune, too, and being child free, he had money to spare to give to charity and education. One final bit of trivia about Erasmus Wilson, is that he is supposed to have said, in 1878, "When the Paris Exhibition closes, electric light will close with it and no more be heard of."
6. Getting the Needle to England was no mean feat. First, it had to be dug out of the sand where it had been sitting for two thousand years, packed up in a giant floating iron cylinder-shaped pontoon vessel especially designed by engineer John Dixon for the purpose. The cylinder had a rudder, a mast and a deck house, and could be towed to London by a ship. The cylinder was dubbed Cleopatra and was towed by a ship called Olga. The mission did not go smoothly. They hit a storm in the Bay of Biscay and the Cleopatra was rolling wildly and threatening to sink. Six crewmen from Olga manned a rescue boat to rescue the crew on Cleopatra - but the rescue boat capsized and all six men drowned. If you visit the obelisk today, you'll find a commemorative plaque at the bottom which names them. Olga herself was manoeuvred alongside the stricken Cleopatra and got the crew off, but it seemed the obelisk would be lost forever. However, Cleopatra didn't sink, and was found by Spanish fishing boats four days later. A steamer from Glasgow, the Fitzmaurice, came to the rescue and towed the Cleopatra to Spain for repairs. After some wrangling and negotiating of payments to the master of the Fitzmaurice for salvage (he asked for £5,000, but got £2,000), yet another boat, the tug Anglia, was commissioned to tow the Cleopatra to London at last.
7. Inside the pedestal is a time capsule containing A set of 12 photographs of the best looking English women of the day, a box of hairpins, a box of cigars, several tobacco pipes, a set of imperial weights, a baby's bottle, some children's toys, a shilling razor, a hydraulic jack and some samples of the cable used in the erection of the Needle, a 3' bronze model of the monument, a complete set of British coins, a rupee, a portrait of Queen Victoria, a written history of the strange tale of the transport of the monument, plans on vellum, a translation of the inscriptions, copies of the Bible in several languages, a copy of John 3:16 in 215 languages, a copy of Whitaker's Almanack, a Bradshaw Railway Guide, a map of London and copies of 10 daily newspapers.
8. As a final touch, two bronze sphinxes were installed beside the Needle. On them are inscriptions in heiroglyphs which translate as "the good god, Thuthmosis III given life". The sphinxes are supposed to be guarding the Needle, but ended up looking at it instead as they got put in place the wrong way round. This may have been because Queen Victoria thought they looked better that way. Both Needle and sphinxes survived bombing during two world wars, but one Sphinx still bears the scars of a bomb which landed nearby. The damage was left unrepaired to commemorate the event.
9. The shipwreck and the near miss in the air raid caused some to believe that the monument was cursed and possibly haunted by the lost sailors, who, it is said, can sometimes be heard screaming and laughing in the area. There is also a ghost of a naked man who dashes from behind the monument and leaps into the river. A ghostly streaker! For some reason, for people who want to commit suicide by drowning themselves in the Thames, Cleopatra's Needle is a popular spot. One theory for the hauntings is that when Rameses II had the hierpglyphs carved on it, these were intended to be a spell preserving the Pharoah's soul inside the granite. Perhaps, then, Rameses II is not happy at having been torn from his place in hot and sunny Egypt, almost lost at sea and placed in grey, rainy England!
10. The famous occultist Aleister Crowley once attempted to bring the Pharoah back to life by feeding a human skeleton with animal blood at the foot of the obelisk at dead of night. Needless to say, it didn't work, and some say that the spooky laughter is Rameses mocking Crowley's efforts to revive him. Another theory as to why the sphinxes face the wrong way is that they were never intended to guard the Needle, but rather to protect London from whatever is lurking inside it.