Ten Christmas jokes for Christmas Day.
- Darth Vader: I know what you are getting for Christmas. Luke Skywalker: How do you know? Darth: I have felt your presents.
- What do you call Santa's Little Helpers? Insubordinate Clauses.
- What do you call people who are frightened of Santa? Claustraphobic.
- What happened to the guy who ate the Christmas decorations? He went down with tinsel-itis.
- Apparently Santa Claus has been seeing a psychiatrist with self confidence issues. He doesn't believe in himself.
- 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse; so I took their stereo.
- I said to my wife, what do you want for Christmas? She said, “Surprise me,” so on Christmas Eve, I woke her up at two in the morning and went, “BOO!”
- I come from a very poor family. One Christmas my father gave me an empty box and told me it was an Action Man deserter.
- I don’t care what star you’re following - get that camel out of my garden!
- Origin of the fairy on top of the Christmas tree: Santa was in a foul mood one day. His wife was nagging, Donner and Blitzen had an argument and split up, the gnomes had gone on strike and the reindeer were asking for danger money. A foolish little fairy brought in a Christmas tree and asked Santa where to put it.
My Christmas Novella!
A Very Variant Christmas
Last year, Jade and Gloria were embroiled in a bitter conflict to win back their throne and their ancestral home. This year, Queen Jade and Princess Gloria want to host the biggest and best Christmas party ever in their palace. They invite all their friends to come and bring guests. Not even the birth of Jade's heir just before Christmas will stop them.
The guest list includes most of Britain's complement of super-powered crime-fighters, their families and friends. What could possibly go wrong?
Gatecrashers, unexpected arrivals, exploding Christmas crackers and a kidnapping, for starters.
Far away in space, the Constellations, a cosmic peacekeeping force, have suffered a tragic loss. They need to recruit a new member to replace their dead colleague. The two top candidates are both at Jade and Gloria's party. The arrival of the recruitment delegation on Christmas Eve is a surprise for everyone; but their visit means one guest now faces a life-changing decision.
Meanwhile, an alliance of the enemies of various guests at the party has infiltrated the palace; they hide in the dungeon, plotting how best to get rid of the crime-fighters and the royal family once and for all. Problem is, they all have their own agendas and differences of opinion on how to achieve their aims.
Not to mention that this year, the ghosts who walk the corridors of the palace on Christmas Eve will be as surprised by the living as the living are by them.
Available from Createspace, Amazon and Amazon Kindle
Not to mention that this year, the ghosts who walk the corridors of the palace on Christmas Eve will be as surprised by the living as the living are by them.
Available from Createspace, Amazon and Amazon Kindle
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