25 February: Yes Minister Quotes

40 years ago in 1980, the sitcom Yes, Minister was first broadcast. To celerate here are 10 quotes from the show: 

1. It used to be said there were two kinds of chairs to go with two kinds of Minister: one sort folds up instantly; the other sort goes round and round in circles.
2. Well, "under consideration" means "we've lost the file"; "under active consideration" means "we're trying to find it".
3. Hacker: Humphrey, do you see it as part of your job to help ministers make fools of themselves? Sir Humphrey: Well, I never met one that needed any help.
4. Hacker: Why is it that ministers can't ever go anywhere without their briefs? Bernard: It's in case they get caught with their trousers down.
5. I gather he was as drunk as a lord. So, after a discreet interval, they'll probably make him one.
6. Sir Humphrey: How are things at the Campaign for the Freedom of Information, by the way? Sir Arnold: Sorry, I can't talk about that.
7. Sir Arnold: So, will our next Prime Minister be our eminent Chancellor or our distinguished Foreign Secretary? Sir Humphrey: That's what I wanted to ask you, which do you think it should be? Sir Arnold: Hmmm. Difficult, like asking which lunatic should run the asylum.
8. It would be different if the Government were a team, but in fact they're a loose confederation of warring tribes.
9. Underpaid? Backbench MPs, Darling? Being an MP is a vast subsidised ego trip. It's a job for which you need no qualifications, no compulsory hours of work, no performance standards. A warm room and subsidised meals for a bunch of self-opinionated windbags and busybodies who suddenly find people taking them seriously because they got letters "MP" after their names.
10. Man: In such an awful country, they cut people's hands off and women get stoned when they commit adultery. Sir Humphrey: Unlike Britain, where they commit adultery when they get stoned.

Settling the Score

Another collection of short stories, even more murder and mayhem with carol singers, an orchestra out for revenge, a sinister magic stone and a haunted mansion.

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A Tale of Two Sisters

During a battle with supervillains, a horrific accident leaves the Warner family with no option but to believe their youngest daughter, Jessica, is dead. It doesn't occur to them that the bad guys could, or would, save her.

Jessica wakes up with no memory of who she is or how she came to be on a space station with two bionic legs, a bionic arm and a bionic eye. She is told her family abandoned her and is sent back to Earth with a mission - to kill them. While Jessica wants to kill her family, along with the twin boys who once rejected her, she knows what the Alliance of Supervillains are asking her to do is a suicide mission. She decides to get her revenge in her own way.

As Jessica puts the first part of her revenge plan in motion, she finds herself with an agonising decision to make. Before she can decide, the Alliance come for her, determined to make her do their bidding. This time, it's the Alliance who leave her, crippled and at the mercy of the Warner family, who have no idea who the Alliance's Black Rose really is.

Jessica finds herself having to re-think her decisions in light of what she now learns about her family, the Alliance, the twins, and herself. It would appear the Alliance have left her with an unwanted and permanent reminder of her time with them. Or have they?

Jessica's older sister, Jill, knows her destiny is to be a doctor and specialise in bionics and genetic variant medicine. She is also hopelessly in love with Christopher, Crown Prince of Galorvia. Can their romance survive the lies Christopher told her when they were both at school, an unplanned pregnancy and Sophie, the wannabe princess who comes between them?

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