14th August: Steve Martin

Steve Martin, US comedian and actor, whose films include Roxanne, Parenthood, Man with Two Brains, Little Shop of Horrors, Pennies From Heaven, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, Trains Boats and Planes, Three Amigos, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Father of the Bride and Housesitter, was born on this date in 1945. Here are ten gems from him:

1. Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is.
2. You kill me and I'll see that you never work in this town again.
3. A kiss may not be the truth, but it is what we wish were true.
4. Why is it we don't always recognise the moment when love begins, but we always know when it ends?
5. I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper.
6. I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
7. Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.
8. Writer's block is a fancy term made up by whiners so they can have an excuse to drink alcohol.
9. Before you criticize a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you do criticize him, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
10. I thought yesterday was the first day of the rest of my life but it turns out today is.