- I am very interested in the Universe - I am specialising in the Universe and all that surrounds it.
- I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly.
- One of the ways to avoid being beaten by the system is to laugh at it.
- Everything I've ever told you, including this, is a lie.
- I go to the theatre to be entertained... I don’t want to see plays about rape, sodomy and drug addiction... I can get all that at home.
- I would much prefer to be a judge than a coal miner because of the absence of falling coal.
- I've always been after the trappings of great luxury. But all I've got hold of are the trappings of great poverty.
- I've always wanted to be an expert on tadpoles. I've always fancied being a tadpole expert. It's a wonderful life if you become and experty tadpoleous, as they are known in the trade. You get invited to all the smart parties and social gatherings.
- I saw an advertisement the other day for the secret of life. It said "The secret of life can be yours for twenty-five shillings. Sent to Secret of Life Institute, Willesden." So I wrote away, seemed a good bargain, secret of life, twenty-five shillings. And I got a letter back saying, "If you think you can get the secret of life for twenty-five shillings, you don't deserve to have it. Send fifty shillings for the secret of life."
- We've all got royal blood in our veins, you know. It's the best place for it in my view.
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