Rita
Rudner, the US Comedian is 60 today. Here are 10 of her one-liners:
- I love being married, I do. It's so great to find that one special person that you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewellery.
- Some people think having large breasts makes a woman stupid. Actually, it's quite the opposite: a woman having large breasts makes men stupid.
- The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
- One of my friends told me she was in labour for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
- Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
- My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.
- We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
- The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him.
- I got kicked out of ballet class because I pulled a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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