Tuesday 2 December 2014

December 2nd: Feast of Pirate Utopias

Exactly what the Feast of Pirate Utopias is or why it exists, I have no idea but it sounded like fun so here are 10 pirate jokes:


  1. Why are pirates called pirates? Because they arrrr.
  2. Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.
  3. Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because the captain was standing on the deck.
  4. How much did the pirate pay for his earrings? A buccaneer.
  5. Pirate: The cannons be ready for firing, Captain. Captain: ARE.
  6. How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? An arm and a leg.
  7. What does a Dyslexic Pirate Say? RRAAAAAAAAAAA!
  8. A pirate with an eye patch, a hook, and a peg leg walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You look like you've been through a lot of sea battles. How did you get the peg leg?" The pirate answered, "Arr, a cannonball blew me leg right off in the midst of battle!" "Wow! And how about the hook?" asked the bartender. "Arr, me hand was eaten by a shark on the high seas!" "That's amazing! And the eye patch?" "Arr, a seagull crapped in me eye." Confused, the bartender asked, "How can you lose your eye from seagull crap?" Replied the pirate, "Well, it was me first day with the hook."
  9. Why did the Captain Hook cross the road? To get to the second hand shop.
  10. What do you call a stupid pirate? The pillage idiot.

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