January 29th: W.C. Fields' Birthday

American actor and comedian W.C. Fields was born on this date in 1880. Here are 10 W.C. Fields quips:

1. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it.

1. I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
2. The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
3. Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
4. I like children. If they're properly cooked.
5. Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
6. If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bullshit.
7. It is funnier to bend things than to break them.
8. I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
9. I spent half my money on gambling, alcohol and wild women. The other half I wasted.