British
comedian Tommy Cooper was born on this date in 1921. To celebrate
what would have been his birthday here are ten of his jokes.
- Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
- So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library.' I thought 'That's a turn-up for the books.'
- I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure.
- I said: “How long will my spaghetti be?” The waiter said: “I don’t know. We never measure it.”
- I sleep like a baby. Every morning I wake up screaming around 2 o’clock.
- This officer stopped me and said: “Why are you driving with a bucket of water on the passenger’s seat?” I said: “So that I can dip my headlights.”
- I took saxophone lessons for six months. Until I dislocated my jaw. How did I know I was supposed to blow in the small end?
- Electricity is a wonderful thing. Do you realise that of we didn’t have electricity we’d be watching television by candle light?
- Last night I slept like a log. I woke up in the fire place.
- Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage of convenience!
More Jokes:
Erma BombeckGroucho Marx
Henny Youngman
Joan Rivers
Lily Tomlin
Rita Rudner
Robin Williams
Sam Goldwyn
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