1st September: Mary Had a Little Lamb

On this date in 1830 The poem Mary Had A Little Lamb was first published by Sarah J Hale. The original poem is below, followed by ten spoof versions of the poem.

The original:

Mary had a little lamb

Its fleece was white as Snow

And everywhere that Mary went

The lamb was sure to go;

He followed her to school one day

That was against the rule

It made the children laugh and play

To see a lamb in school.

1. Mary had a little lamb

It ran around the floor.

She stuck electrodes in its head

It didn’t any more.

2. Mary had a little lamb

Her brother shot it dead

Now Mary takes the lamb to school

Between two bits of Bread.

3. Mary had a little lamb

She taught it the Guitar

It now plays in a bleat group

At the local Coffee baaaa.

Gordon Bailey

4. Mary had a little lamb

She kept it in a bucket

And every time the lamb jumped out

The tom cat tried to put it back again.

5. Mary had a little lamb

The doctor was surprised

When Old Macdonald had a farm

He couldn’t believe his eyes.

6. Mary had a little sheep

She took it up to bed to sleep

To her mistake, it was a ram

Mary had a little lamb.

7. Mary had a little lamb,

Its heart was black as coal

It crept into her room one night

And ate her fucking soul.

8. Mary had a little lamb,

She also had a bear.

I’ve often seen her little lamb

But I’ve never seen her bear.

9. Mary had a little lamb

Full of fun and frolics

One day it jumped a barbed wire fence

And caught its little tail.

10. Mary had a little lamb

It had a touch of colic.

She gave it brandy twice a day

And now it’s an alcoholic.